Compassion

Community comes in many forms. For those living in assisted living facilities, the people who sit at your table for meals become a small community. Some residences switch people around regularly— so you get to know different people (or, at times, so conflicting personalities can move to less stressful ground!). At other places, you might be seated next to the same people for months or years. 

An elderly person I recently visited shared with me her sadness about one of her table mates, who had just been diagnosed with an advanced cancer, and might die soon. She told me they had been together “a long time,” and that, while their lives had held little in common, they had grown to like and respect each other very much over the years.

This lovely woman had tears in her eyes as she said, “I don’t know what to say to her. So, at the end of each meal, I simply reach my hand over to hers, and hold her hand for a few moments. And she holds mine. I hope she knows how much I care.” 

I am so touched by the simplicity and depth of her compassion, and by the gracious receiving of it by her friend. In times of sorrow, there may be no words to share. In fact, sometimes the words we choose are quite unhelpful (despite our good intentions). What a blessing— to be in the presence of elderly people who understand this, and from a lifetime of experiencing friendship, can teach us about the precious gift of compassion.